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Life
Dearest Cyrill,
I’d like to start off by greeting you a “Happy Anniversary” today–just thought I’d get that out of the way in case this open letter gets too sappy and gross that you eventually miss the whole point. That’s very anticlimactic, how I said it, but it gets better. I promise.
Today, we celebrate 6 years of being together, but not “together” together. Those who did not closely witness our growth both together and apart through the years would not have known that for the first half of the time period that we’ve known each other, we already had a mutual understanding (MU) of our feelings, BUT did not become officially in a relationship until the second half. In short, the courtship went on for 3 years before we finally became “legal” in 2016. And there are two reasons why that was so: 1) We were too young (only both 14 circa 2013); and the classic, 2) My parents are strict.
We only decided to keep counting the years as they were because there’s no denying that the love has been real from the very start. Hahahaha, cringe.
Looking back, I can’t help but smile at the fact that we were able to build a solid friendship between the two of us and among our friends since we met. One funny memory that’s at the top of my mind was when you added yourself to Aena, Irish, Fatima, and I’s all-girls group chat using my account. We were all surprised, and I was quite nervous how they would react to what you did even though we were already very close at that time. They laughed it off and proceeded to change the group chat name to make you feel even more welcome. The five of us were basically inseparable by the time junior high school came to an end. Despite taking up different strands in SHS, we still managed to hang out as a group all the time. How I miss us eating all together during lunch time and sometimes even after school outside the campus. When we graduated, we both expressed how we were already feeling sepanx (separation anxiety) from thinking about how we’d all be soon apart in college as we planned to enroll in different universities. I clearly remember you saying that the four of us girls were really your barkada. From then until now, thank you for going out on a limb to invest your time and friendship in the people I love the most, and for allowing me to do the same with yours.
When it comes to my family, there’s no denying that they love you just as much as I do. My lola would literally squeal in kilig whenever we talk about you, my parents would always order your favorite dish when you eat out with us, my cousins would refuse to hang out or go on trips without you, and the list goes on. I remember this one time the whole family and I spent a few days of our Christmas break in Baguio, and they specifically asked for you, making me feel guilty for not having invited you. However, I knew you also needed to spend time with your family during the holidays. It just occurred to me then that the reason why they sought your presence was because they already see you as family, too.
During my debut celebration two years ago, part of my dad’s “thank you” speech was addressed to you. He expressed how grateful he was to have you care for me and serve as one of my inspirations in life. That was a very touching moment because everyone knows that my dad is usually the silent type. So, for him to do just that meant he does not only accept, but also appreciate you being in our lives. My mom, on the other hand, does not forget to get you pasalubong when we travel, while my Ate and her boyfriend Kuya Moy also make sure to get you Christmas presents, and Poy looks up to you as a Kuya figure so much, especially since you are so much alike (at least everyone says so).
During my debut celebration two years ago, part of my dad’s “thank you” speech was addressed to you. He expressed how grateful he was to have you care for me and serve as one of my inspirations in life. That was a very touching moment because everyone knows that my dad is usually the silent type. So, for him to do just that meant he does not only accept, but also appreciate you being in our lives. My mom, on the other hand, does not forget to get you pasalubong when we travel, while my Ate and her boyfriend Kuya Moy also make sure to get you Christmas presents, and Poy looks up to you as a Kuya figure so much, especially since you are so much alike (at least everyone says so).
It may not feel like a lot, but we are both aware of how big of both a milestone and a blessing today is. 6 YEARS. That’s an incredible lot of 60 minutes that go by so fast whenever we hang out, laughs until we couldn’t breathe, teasing each other until one gets upset, binge eating all the unhealthy food we love, studying together until we pass out, and the like.
Cyrill, you are my home and my adventure in one. I never felt scared nor uncertain that we found love at such a young age because like what I said, among the many reasons there are, on the last valentine’s day card I gave you, “You came at such an early point in my life, and you made it your mission to bubble wrap my heart with your love, so I never have to endure a broken one.” You also push me to experience things, and the best part is you make sure I do so with my family, my friends, and you.
I'm very well aware that this letter may seem all over the place and possibly even badly written. I know I could do so much better had I not have quite a difficult time writing it. Needless to say, I am overwhelmed. I never knew I could feel so many different feelings for one person, that my very petite self could potentially burst or simply run out of words. You are that person. You are my person.
Happy 6th Ultimate Cylo Day (as the jejemons in us call it)! Here's to the 7th, the 8th, the 9th, the nth more to come!
Mahal na mahal kita,
Lois
An Open Letter To The LOML
29 December 2019
Lately, I’ve been feeling a lot more like 2013 Lois (still cannot believe it’s already been 6 years since then), than 2019 Lois. And I’d like to think that I’m in a good place right now because of it. Why? It’s because the Lois then was so full of life. I believed I could achieve great things, neither scared nor anxious, not even the littlest bit, about the future. As a matter of fact, my motto was, “If your dreams don’t scare you, they’re not big enough” (I saw it on Tumblr and decided I couldn’t let go of it so it stuck with me). I wanted to become a journalist, a writer, a singer, a doctor, and a whole other list of things that I deemed worthy of living for. I also wanted to work for the UN, and I still do. It’s probably the most rewarding, yet humbling career path, IMO.
It’s crazy because 2013 was also the year when I met my best friend, turned boyfriend, Cyrill, with whom I’m still happily in a relationship, up to this day. He taught me a lot of things that I otherwise would not have learned or would’ve taken a longer time to learn by myself. He showed me how to love myself because and not just in spite of my insecurities, how to stop being down for people who wouldn’t do the same for me (this one took the most effort, I think), how to invest in the real friends I already have, how to aim for success while still taking care of myself, and how to live everyday without fear of missing out on anything, among many others I continue to live by.
sisss my first & second half of 2019 felt like 2 different years LOLLLLLLL— JEORELLA (@jeorella__) December 18, 2019
Just recently I read a tweet that said, “The first and second halves of 2019 felt like 2 different years” (or something like that), and I think that’s the truest, most relatable conclusion I’ve read about this year, so far. First half of 2019, I was radiating energy. I was on a good-GWA-high from finishing freshman year,
party really hard with my best friends (said good bye to my very boring lola self),
I don’t even know what I want to achieve with this post. Siguro update lang? And to justify why I haven’t been writing for months. Again, sorry. I also wanted to say, don't dwell on the “it doesn’t feel like Christmas anymore” posts. I always see that quite a lot on socmed during the holiday season. Spend time with your loved ones. Do something that makes you absolutely happy. After all, for all you other college kids like me out there, the next sem is just waiting around the corner and is gonna come at us soon enough. We’re gonna be overworked and sad again. But for now, we have a few weeks. Relax.
If there is something I’m planning on bringing with me to 2020, it would be to keep making memories. I never want to look back at this time of my life and say, “Sana…” or “Dapat…” or “Kung…” And I hope you don’t want that, too.
That's it for now. It's been a long time since I shared something personal on the blog. Thanks for dropping by. Have a Merry Christmas wherever you are, take care always, and love lots!
Life Update: Before 2019 Ends
24 December 2019
Lacking the motivation to do things is such a sticky situation to be in, one that is so frustrating when all you want to do is just be good in whatever it is you want or have to do. As a someone who's been studying for almost 16 years now, I have been demotivated to perform academic tasks (or just tasks in general) to the point that I can almost consider myself in a burnout phase wherein I feel emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted to go on with my everyday life due to excessive and prolonged stress.
I am no expert in this topic, so I suggest reading more about burnout prevention and treatment here. However, I do have some tips and insights to share about how I try to overcome extensive periods of demotivation, so I can avoid reaching burnout point.
1. Acceptance
This is obviously the first step because you can never really address anything good or bad if you don't acknowledge it. Time is fleeting, and the more you deny something that is actually happening, the more energy you spend wasting the opportunity to enjoy or overcome it. For me, I just tell myself that I'm in a lot of stress of lately, so I need to do something about it. It's as simple as that.
2. Relaxation
Okay. You may be wondering whether it is a better idea to relax so early on in the process than to save it for the end. People often say, "Save the best for the last." But, hear me out. When I know that I'm already stressed, I feel the need to instantly act on it by canceling out the stress with a calming medium. I do this by going out, watching my favorite movies, eating my favorite foods, and playing mobile games with Cyrill and my siblings. It is okay to rest once in a while, but once you know that you're already fully rested (or maybe even just enough), you have to proceed immediately to the next step. Otherwise, you're gonna be relaxing forever. Needless to say, you're not gonna be able to do anything else, which is not the point of this at all. 😂
3. Inspiration
Getting inspiration is like getting fuel for a car. You need something to make the engine, your brain, work as it should. I get inspiration everywhere. But when it comes to studying, I like watching my favorite student vlogger, Izzy Mollicone, because I relate to her in the sense that I study A LOT as well. If I'm not mistaken, I take 32-34 units every semester which is quite a handful especially when compared to the 15-22 units that my best friends take in their universities. 😢 Anyway, you'll know that you're already inspired or "fueled up" when you're finally getting the drive to create or do something. When this happens, immediately get on it so as to not waste any more time.
4. More Inspiration
Usually at the time when you're already hard at work and you're ready to check off things from your to-do list, you get into a minor setback, and you think that you're back to square one all over again. This is when you need the strongest inspiration you could gather up. Maybe think about why you're doing everything in the first place. What's your goal? What's gonna make you feeling happy and successful in the near future? Personally, I think about my parents and how they have always been supporting me (and my siblings) to the extent where they usually leave barely anything for themselves. I thrive in that guilt and willingness to give back to them by doing what is expected of me and possibly even more.
5. Faith
If nothing (or everything) goes to plan, don't forget to pray about it. This is the last step I do, usually when I've already done my work or when I'm ready to just trust God on His plans. I talk to Him and ask Him to prepare me for anything else that He has in store for me.
The truth is, we can never get rid of stress. I learned that from Understanding the Self class last semester. 😂 Whether you act positively or negatively on everything handed to you is entirely up to you, so make the most off of it.
“Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.” ― A Cinderella Story
If nothing (or everything) goes to plan, don't forget to pray about it. This is the last step I do, usually when I've already done my work or when I'm ready to just trust God on His plans. I talk to Him and ask Him to prepare me for anything else that He has in store for me.
The truth is, we can never get rid of stress. I learned that from Understanding the Self class last semester. 😂 Whether you act positively or negatively on everything handed to you is entirely up to you, so make the most off of it.
“Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.” ― A Cinderella Story
Have a lovely day wherever you are, take care always, and love lots!
♡ Lois
How I Overcome Demotivation
30 May 2019
Ever since I was a little girl, who was so obsessed with watching chick flicks ranging from Cinderella Story to Mean Girls and more, I've always dreamt of having the perfect prom night. I was so sure, that like the girls in those movies, I'd have everything planned for that one night, considering how much of a perfectionist I am, and therefore things would go well. Of course, with my thinking about it all too much, I probably jinxed everything, and thus on the day of our grad ball, at 7am my parents and I were already up scrambling around town to find (not even the perfect, but) just a decent long gown for me to wear that night since my mom and I agreed we didn't like the one we actually had made initially. Not to mention that just the day before that, we were also cramming to find a pair of heels to go with my previous dress. Everything I needed for the big night was done hastily and at the last minute (which I do not recommend at all because we did end up wasting some money).
Frocks truly was a life saver. I was so lucky to have found a dress that could be altered to my size within the day, just in time for our call time at 5PM. Even though I did not get my dream gown, I was perfectly fine with what I had. In the picture, the gown looks more maroon than magenta, but I love color grading my shots this way hehe.
Gown: Frocks Couture
HMUA: Red Sarmiento
M Y D A T E
Everyone knew I was going to the grad ball with Cyrill, and he no longer had to ask me to be his date. But Cyrill told me, "Sa tingin mo ba hahayaan ko talagang wala (kang promposal)?" or "Did you think I'd really let you have no promposal?" And so on May 22, exactly 4 days before Caleum–the name of our gradball, Cyrill surprised me with this:
I have to tell, he really pulled this one off. I had no idea the whole time. My family and I came home from a day of running some errands (Cyrill asked to come with us), and I went straight to my room to get changed while Cyrill waits for me in the living area. And lo and behold, this beautiful surprise was waiting for me on my bed. Cyrill told me his mom even helped him put it all together, and that's so sweet.
And these are, by far, the absolute best flowers anyone has given me.
Now, back to the grad ball...
We originally planned for Cyrill to pick me up from our house so we could ride together to prom (just like in the movies), but I knew there was no way that that was going to happen because the whole family would want to take pictures with us at the venue. And here we are...
The program didn't start until 7-ish, I think. The food was satisfactory, the music was enjoyable, but the people were perfect. I did not get to take a picture with everyone at our table though, so I have nothing to show. But I'm really glad Cyrill and I spent the night with them. After all, what better way there is than to end the school year with those whom we enjoyed most of it with.
My favorite part would have to be dancing with Cyrill and our friends and taking pictures with them.
I could get really sappy and sentimental right now just because high school's finally ended, and I'm gonna miss a lot of things and of course people. I mean I'm no longer gonna see my best friends every day at school. It's gonna be even harder to make sure our planned trips won't become "drawings" in the end. But I have to save all my emotions for when I finally bring myself to write a graduation blog post, so keep posted.
Have a lovely day wherever you are, take care always, and love lots!
♡ Lois
My Gradball Experience + Cyrill's Promposal
03 July 2018
Another chapter to ATM With Lois has long been overdue, but it's finally here. I've been so busy these past couple of weeks (months, actually), I feel like I barely spend time at home anymore. Today, luckily, it's an "off" day for all of us, so I decided to start planning more tasks to accomplish in the following days, the most important of which would be my enrollment for college. I've laid out all the essential stuff I have to prepare.
Above you can see my trusty Fjällräven Kånken No. 2 in the color Autumn Leaf where I keep basically everything else in the picture whenever I have to go run some errands. Story time: I've had this backpack saved on my phone from a Pinterest post since 2016, maybe, but I could not find it online anywhere (my guess is that it was discontinued for another color), so when I saw it on Carousell early this year, I was eager to get my hands on it and thus immediately contacted the seller. However, Cyrill, with that sneaky little mind of his, discouraged me from making the purchase because apparently he "believes" that the entire thing was sketchy and all that. Because he's often right about such things, I took his advice, only to find out that he actually got it for me on Valentine's day. I could be mad then, but I was just surprised and touched. It's now my favourite backpack, and I use it all the time.
Moving on... I also just started bullet journaling (finally!) after wanting to do so for the longest time. It's quite an upgrade from just DIY-ing my planner every year, and I really love it. And since starting to keep a bullet journal, I feel the need to constantly bring it with me wherever just because it has everything I need to keep track of, including deadlines, to-do lists, and so on.
If there's one thing I've picked up from everything I've been doing recently, it's that college is the most exciting yet most tedious thing to be preparing for. I am so blessed to have such a supportive family who accompanies me literally every time I have to go to Manila to submit and process all my school requirements.
Although I'm very much nervous about becoming a college student soon, I can't help but feel really excited to be sharing a dorm room away from home with my Ate and take a few more steps towards independence. No matter how much I prepare for college though, I know that I will never be truly ready for it. So here's to just a generally fun and memorable college experience ahead of us! I hope that whatever comes, we can all learn and grow from it.
Have a lovely day wherever you are, take care always, and love lots!
♡ Lois
ATM With Lois (Chapter 3)
20 June 2018
Growing up, watching Bethany Mota's lifestyle videos on YouTube, I have always envied how foreign YouTubers like her have better access to cuter room decor stuff. As you know, the closest thing I have to getting half decent crafting materials and actual decorations is either the hardware store or the department store. And although both places are, more often than not, conveniently located from me, I cannot really guarantee good quality products from them.
That's why when Jennifer from Photowall invited me to try any of their canvas prints and wall murals, I was truly more than excited to do so. Photowall is a Swedish brand that specializes on curating wall murals and canvas prints which are not only of utmost design and quality, but are also environmentally friendly, fire-retardant (do not spread fire), and non-fading in sunlight.
After battling with my indecisiveness and taking the longest time to pick the design I want to have printed, I finally settled on a minimalist sketch of London by designer Avery Tillmon (above). I just wanted something timeless and versatile that could go in any room in our house. And upon receiving the product, I already knew that I made the right decision. Right off the bat, I could really tell that the quality of the canvas material is great, which is also true for the DIY wooden frame with twist-on screws–how convenient! I cannot wait to assemble it all, and I'm planning on putting my canvas print up in my dorm when I start college this August. Thankfully, I have one of Photowall's tutorial videos to guide me. After one of the smoothest transactions I have ever had in my life, this is what I have to say about Photowall:
After battling with my indecisiveness and taking the longest time to pick the design I want to have printed, I finally settled on a minimalist sketch of London by designer Avery Tillmon (above). I just wanted something timeless and versatile that could go in any room in our house. And upon receiving the product, I already knew that I made the right decision. Right off the bat, I could really tell that the quality of the canvas material is great, which is also true for the DIY wooden frame with twist-on screws–how convenient! I cannot wait to assemble it all, and I'm planning on putting my canvas print up in my dorm when I start college this August. Thankfully, I have one of Photowall's tutorial videos to guide me. After one of the smoothest transactions I have ever had in my life, this is what I have to say about Photowall:
W H A T T O E X P E C T
- You don't need to worry about your location because Photowall ships worldwide. And if you're from Europe, you're even luckier because shipping is FREE for you.
- Shipping is really FAST, too! Photowall definitely impressed me with how stress-free our transaction went as my canvas print arrived WITHIN a week which is amazing because international shipments can take up to 2-3 weeks, or so I've been told.
- While Photowall offers quite the selection of nothing but aesthetically pleasing designs (some even curated with professional designers), if you can't find something you like, you may opt for customized printing instead. Just send them the photo you want, and they can check if the quality is good enough for printing.
- To make things even better for you, Photowall provides DIY wooden frames (optional) for their canvas prints and adhesive kits for their wall murals.
- All their wall murals and canvas prints are environmentally friendly. It's always a plus to know that supporting certain brands like Photowall equals helping the environment.
P H O T O W A L L D I S C O U N T C O D E
Now, if you ever find yourself wanting to take home one of Photowall's canvas prints or wall murals (or maybe have them print one of your own stuff for you), you can get 20% off your purchase by using my discount code LoisVinasCampaign2018 until March 10, 2018 only, so hurry! Check out their designs here or visit www.photowall.com now.
If you ever find this helpful, be sure to let me know. Have a lovely day wherever you are, take care always, and love lots!
Disclaimer: All photos except the flatlay (which is mine) are property of Photowall Sweden.
♡ Lois
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Trying Out Photowall + What I Think About It
27 January 2018
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