sisss my first & second half of 2019 felt like 2 different years LOLLLLLLL

— JEORELLA (@jeorella__) December 18, 2019

Just recently I read a tweet that said, “The first and second halves of 2019 felt like 2 different years” (or something like that), and I think that’s the truest, most relatable conclusion I’ve read about this year, so far. First half of 2019, I was radiating energy. I was on a good-GWA-high from finishing freshman year,

went on a Euro trip with my family, and then came back ready for sophomore year. When the second half of 2019 came, I struggled for real. I couldn’t keep up with the Monday to Saturday, 7am to 7pm, 34-unit sem that I have. I barely talked to my high school best friends,

only saw Cyrill a couple of times (parang LDR talaga kami), and basically went MIA for 5 months. I even got sick at least twice, dealt with dull skin full of breakouts, lost my apple pencil more than once, found it again and again, failed so many exams (both GenEd and major ones), cut one of my classes to watch a UAAP semi-finals game (which we won), cried a looot,

and spent so much of my allowance/stipend on unnecessary, impulsive online shopping.

BUT I also managed to finally have a solid group of college friends,

visit Central Perk in Singapore over the sembreak,

be so much better in basketball, have countless samgyupsal dates, gain 2 more inches on my waist, overcome even worse homesickness, survive my first revalida, pull my grades up just in time before the semester ends,

become a ninang for the second time,

kill virtual zombies with a squad,

attend agape AND paskuhan for the first time (missed last year's because I was in Korea with my family),

finally see (actually hear lang since I forgot to bring my glasses, but it didn't matter) Ben and Ben live, and now happily enjoy family time back in the province.

I don’t even know what I want to achieve with this post. Siguro update lang? And to justify why I haven’t been writing for months. Again, sorry. I also wanted to say, don't dwell on the “it doesn’t feel like Christmas anymore” posts. I always see that quite a lot on socmed during the holiday season. Spend time with your loved ones. Do something that makes you absolutely happy. After all, for all you other college kids like me out there, the next sem is just waiting around the corner and is gonna come at us soon enough. We’re gonna be overworked and sad again. But for now, we have a few weeks. Relax.

If there is something I’m planning on bringing with me to 2020, it would be to keep making memories. I never want to look back at this time of my life and say, “Sana…” or “Dapat…” or “Kung…” And I hope you don’t want that, too.

Lacking the motivation to do things is such a sticky situation to be in, one that is so frustrating when all you want to do is just be good in whatever it is you want or have to do. As a someone who's been studying for almost 16 years now, I have been demotivated to perform academic tasks (or just tasks in general) to the point that I can almost consider myself in a burnout phase wherein I feel emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted to go on with my everyday life due to excessive and prolonged stress. 

I am no expert in this topic, so I suggest reading more about burnout prevention and treatment here. However, I do have some tips and insights to share about how I try to overcome extensive periods of demotivation, so I can avoid reaching burnout point.

 1. Acceptance 

This is obviously the first step because you can never really address anything good or bad if you don't acknowledge it. Time is fleeting, and the more you deny something that is actually happening, the more energy you spend wasting the opportunity to enjoy or overcome it. For me, I just tell myself that I'm in a lot of stress of lately, so I need to do something about it. It's as simple as that.

 2. Relaxation 

Okay. You may be wondering whether it is a better idea to relax so early on in the process than to save it for the end. People often say, "Save the best for the last." But, hear me out. When I know that I'm already stressed, I feel the need to instantly act on it by canceling out the stress with a calming medium. I do this by going out, watching my favorite movies, eating my favorite foods, and playing mobile games with Cyrill and my siblings. It is okay to rest once in a while, but once you know that you're already fully rested (or maybe even just enough), you have to proceed immediately to the next step. Otherwise, you're gonna be relaxing forever. Needless to say, you're not gonna be able to do anything else, which is not the point of this at all. 😂

 3. Inspiration 

Getting inspiration is like getting fuel for a car. You need something to make the engine, your brain, work as it should. I get inspiration everywhere. But when it comes to studying, I like watching my favorite student vlogger, Izzy Mollicone, because I relate to her in the sense that I study A LOT as well. If I'm not mistaken, I take 32-34 units every semester which is quite a handful especially when compared to the 15-22 units that my best friends take in their universities. 😢 Anyway, you'll know that you're already inspired or "fueled up" when you're finally getting the drive to create or do something. When this happens, immediately get on it so as to not waste any more time.

 4. More Inspiration 

Usually at the time when you're already hard at work and you're ready to check off things from your to-do list, you get into a minor setback, and you think that you're back to square one all over again. This is when you need the strongest inspiration you could gather up. Maybe think about why you're doing everything in the first place. What's your goal? What's gonna make you feeling happy and successful in the near future? Personally, I think about my parents and how they have always been supporting me (and my siblings) to the extent where they usually leave barely anything for themselves. I thrive in that guilt and willingness to give back to them by doing what is expected of me and possibly even more.

 5. Faith 

If nothing (or everything) goes to plan, don't forget to pray about it. This is the last step I do, usually when I've already done my work or when I'm ready to just trust God on His plans. I talk to Him and ask Him to prepare me for anything else that He has in store for me.

The truth is, we can never get rid of stress. I learned that from Understanding the Self class last semester. 😂 Whether you act positively or negatively on everything handed to you is entirely up to you, so make the most off of it.

“Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.” ― A Cinderella Story