An Open Letter To The LOML

29 December 2019

Dearest Cyrill,

I’d like to start off by greeting you a “Happy Anniversary” today–just thought I’d get that out of the way in case this open letter gets too sappy and gross that you eventually miss the whole point. That’s very anticlimactic, how I said it, but it gets better. I promise.

Today, we celebrate 6 years of being together, but not “together” together. Those who did not closely witness our growth both together and apart through the years would not have known that for the first half of the time period that we’ve known each other, we already had a mutual understanding (MU) of our feelings, BUT did not become officially in a relationship until the second half. In short, the courtship went on for 3 years before we finally became “legal” in 2016. And there are two reasons why that was so: 1) We were too young (only both 14 circa 2013); and the classic, 2) My parents are strict. 

We only decided to keep counting the years as they were because there’s no denying that the love has been real from the very start. Hahahaha, cringe.

Looking back, I can’t help but smile at the fact that we were able to build a solid friendship between the two of us and among our friends since we met. One funny memory that’s at the top of my mind was when you added yourself to Aena, Irish, Fatima, and I’s all-girls group chat using my account. We were all surprised, and I was quite nervous how they would react to what you did even though we were already very close at that time. They laughed it off and proceeded to change the group chat name to make you feel even more welcome. The five of us were basically inseparable by the time junior high school ended. Despite taking up different strands in SHS, we still managed to hang out as a group all the time. How I miss us eating all together during lunch time and sometimes even after school outside the campus. When we graduated, we both expressed how we were already feeling sepanx (separation anxiety) from thinking about how we’d all be soon apart in college as we planned to enroll in different universities. I clearly remember you saying that the four of us girls were really your barkada. From then until now, thank you for going out on a limb to invest your time and friendship in the people I love the most, and for allowing me to do the same with yours.

When it comes to my family, there’s no denying that they love you just as much as I do. My lola would literally squeal in kilig whenever we talk about you, my parents would always order your favorite dish when you eat out with us, my cousins would refuse to hang out or go on trips without you, and the list goes on. I remember this one time my family and I spent a few days of our Christmas break in Baguio, and they specifically asked for you, making me feel guilty for not having invited you. However, I knew you also needed to spend time with your family during the holidays. It just occurred to me then that the reason why they sought your presence was because they already see you as family, too. During my debut celebration two years ago, part of my dad’s “thank you” speech was addressed to you. He expressed how grateful he was to have you care for me and serve as one of my inspirations in life. That was a very touching moment because everyone knows that my dad is usually the silent type. So, for him to do just that meant he does not only accept but also appreciate you being in our lives. My mom, on the other hand, does not forget to get you pasalubong when we travel, my Ate and her boyfriend Kuya Moy also make sure to get you Christmas presents, and Poy looks up to you as a Kuya figure so much, especially since you are so much alike.

It may not feel like a lot, but we are both aware of how big of both a milestone and a blessing today is. 6 YEARS. That’s an incredible lot of 60 minutes that go by so fast whenever we hang out, laughs until we couldn’t breathe, teasing each other until one gets upset, binge eating all the unhealthy food we love, studying together until we pass out, and the like.

Cyrill, you are my home and my adventure in one. I never felt scared nor uncertain that we found love at such a young age because like what I said, among the many reasons there are, on the last valentine’s day card I gave you, “You came at such an early point in my life, and you made it your mission to bubble wrap my heart with your love, so I never have to endure a broken one.” You also push me to experience things, and the best part is you make sure I do so with you, my family, and friends.

I'm very well aware that this letter may seem all over the place and possibly even badly written. I know I could do so much better had I not have a very difficult time writing it. Needless to say, I am overwhelmed. I never knew I could feel so many feelings for one person, that my very petite self could potentially burst or simply run out of words. You are that person. You are my person.

Happy 6th Ultimate Cylo Day! Here's to the 7th, the 8th, the 9th, the nth more to come! 

Mahal na mahal kita,

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